Bite-Sized Movie Review: Bitten

Posted on: September 11th, 2011 by Anthony Rapino 5 Comments

I watch a lot of horror movies.  Smoosh that together with my hatred for long-winded reviews that explain the plot for five paragraphs before getting to the meat and potatoes of the review.  What do you have?

The bite-sized horror movie review, wherein I spend no more than a paragraph telling you if a movie is worth watching or not.  For my first review, I chose something I viewed about 1 year ago:  Bitten.

I lovingly bestow onto Bitten, three out of five screaming monkey heads.

Three screaming monkey heads may be just a bit generous for this one, but what can I say, for all its flaws the movie manages to entertain. There’s really not much going on here. A paramedic, played by Jason Mewes (Jay of Jay and Silent Bob fame), finds a woman covered in blood in the alley near his house. Being a paramedic, he tries to help her. She turns out being a newly turned vampire, and his new girlfriend. The premise sets up a handful of funny situations, as well as gory situations. I didn’t find the gore over the top as it was mostly a lot of fake blood. Erica Cox (the vampire) manages to be in her underwear or naked for a large portion of the movie, which always helps when its a B-horror. All in all, if you’re a fan of Mewes, copious amounts of cursing, or b-horror, give this a watch.

Next time, I’ll review The Cook.

Maybe.

5 Responses

  1. “It was mostly a lot of fake blood” — see, that’s what I tell my friends when they sneer at my enjoying a good horror movie every now and then. Doesn’t seem to sway them.

    • Yeah, I think for most, blood is blood is blood. But when I watch horror movies, I tend to notice if blood seems “fake.”

  2. Indigo says:

    Ha! Sounds like it might be Evil Dead kind of fun. Something just to watch for the kicks. Fake blood? That’s my new excuse when I don’t have any problem eating while watching a horror flick. (Hugs) Indy

  3. Elizabeth Arroyo says:

    I gotta start my list for Halloween. =)

  4. Laurita says:

    Hmmm. Only three screaming monkey heads, eh? Well, I think I’ll give this one a pass then. I won’t watch anything less than three and a half heads (that half a head is rather gory to boot).

    I like my horror on the atmospheric side, not so much with all the paint for blood. I do appreciate your brevity. Just right for a review, I think.

Anthony J. Rapino Newsletter
* indicates required