Rat Versus Guinea Pig (And Contest Update)

Posted on: April 9th, 2011 by Anthony Rapino 8 Comments

I had a dream the other night that a rat and a guinea pig got into a fight.  The guinea pig–lets call him Mr. Winkles–entered the arena (a small cage) and pushed the rat–Sir Sniffsalot– against the far wall.  Mr. Winkles was twice the size of Sir Sniffsalot, and his imposing aura was enough to scare Sniffsalot into inaction.  There was no fight in him.  Mr. Winkles saw this, stole some food, and left unimpeded.

I know, not much of a fight.  The crowd (a few mice and rabbits) were not pleased.  Much rotten lettuce was thrown.  They came to see a fight, and by god, there would be one.

A rodent riot commenced!  It was chaos.  Little pellets of shit were everywhere.  Off in the corner, two gerbils brutally attacked an unarmed mole as he tried to burrow into the hard, unyielding linoleum floor.  A gang of prairie dogs had their way with a gopher.  Lost and utterly disoriented a squirrel walked out the door and strait into traffic.  Just another unidentified rodent roadkill.

The poor little buggers.

Meanwhile, Mr. Winkles had made off with his cheeks stuffed tight with the night’s winnings, and Sir Sniffsalot was trampled to death when the Shrew Police came to disperse the crowd.

All was not well in Verminville that night, but luckily, Aesop the rabbit was unharmed.  He went on to become Mayor of Verminville and banned cage fights forever.  He was much loved.

EDIT: Monique Snyman has written a beautiful tribute for our dear departed friend, Sir Sniffsalot:  A Tribute to a Rodent.

If the fighting rodent dream didn’t scare you off, I have a small update to the contest.  In less than two days we’re already up to 30 entrants!  Once we reach 50, I will do the drawing and give away the $25 gift card.  If you haven’t entered yet, all you have to do is follow my blog (making sure to let me know in the comments if you follow via RSS, Facebook, or Twitter).

If you’ve already entered, consider spreading the word via Twitter, Facebook, or your blog.  the quicker we get to 50, the sooner I can do the drawing.

Good luck!

8 Responses

  1. Monique says:

    That was strange, but very intriguing.

    Poor Sir Sniffsalot though, I like rats… You shouldn’t have killed him off. 😉

    • A monument will be erected in his honor. 🙂

      • Monique says:

        I shall write a tribute to him *sniff* 😛

  2. Laurita says:

    Mr. Winkles and Sir Sniffsalot – surely the names of two hardened pugilists.

    • Verily. Those are their gang names.

  3. marcy says:

    I had rats once. They were the sweetest cutest things ever until you threw a few crickets into their cage…loved the tribute 🙂

  4. LOL
    Beatrix Potter is rolling over in her grave. 😉

    • Ha! Yeah… I imagine I’ve made many an author roll in their grave during my short time as a writer. :-p

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