Retro-graphic Evidence

“An Introduction”


Picture this:  Five fourth-graders hanging out in the schoolyard.  The year is 1989, and these kids are talking about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.  Who’s your favorite turtle?  Did you see the last episode?  Did you hear they’re gonna make a movie? Check out these rad drawings I made!

This line of discussion goes on far too long and culminates with the group circling up to sing the Ninja Turtle theme song.  The young boys–dressed in Body Glove, wind breakers, and jeans–they channel a gang of 50’s era greasers.  They each lean on one knee and snap their fingers to the tune:  Teenage mutant ninja turtles, teenage mutant ninja turtles, teenage mutant ninja turtles, heroes in a half-shell.  Turtle Power!

High-fives all around.

I was one of those kids.  I was probably the silly bastard who initiated the sing-along.

It was a time in my young life when memorizing all the lyrics to a cartoon was cool, and reciting those lyrics with my classmates was done completely without irony.  We enjoyed the show, and this was how we demonstrated that love.

Recently, I was going through my photo-suitcase (because a photo album could never hold the insane number of pictures I own) when the memory I previously related came to me.  It was a thunderclap of nostalgia, and it came along with a new idea as well.

Giant Chirstmas Candy Canes
My brother Mike trying to eat his entire candy cane in one monster bite. I’m content to cradle mine.

I am starting a new series of articles entitled Retro-graphic Evidence.

In this series, I plan to scan a photo from the 80’s or early 90’s, and use it as inspiration for an article about my life.  Toys, video games, my childish exploits, video stores, horror, and Halloween:  it’ll all be there, related back to you in Technicolor and a pure 80’s sheen.  I’d like to say I’ll post a new one every week, but I know better than to make any promises.

I hope you’ll embark on this adventure into the past with me.