Beard Watch! (Summer 2011)

Posted on: July 19th, 2011 by Anthony Rapino 14 Comments

My normally unruly beard has become downright mutinous in the wake of my summer vacation from teaching. He has gained significant traction in the southern territories and threatens to overtake the border from chin to neck.  It won’t be  long before Beard and Chest Hair form an alliance.

Precautions have been taken.  I’ve sent in a stealth team.  If you look very closely in the southwest quadrant, you’ll see the Pony Tail Recon snaking their way over the shoulder mountains.   Once enough intelligence has been gathered, a strike team will be sent in.  Until then, pray for me.

Forgive my bare shoulders and the perfect view up my nostrils.  If you want to blame someone for this intimate view of my beard, you can yell at Troy Blackford.  He implanted these notions in my overheated brain with absolutely no forethought of the consequences, and now you’re forced to gaze upon these horrific photos.  For shame Mr. Blackford.  For shame.

If that wasn’t bad enough, the nut wrote a glowing review of my chapbook, Uprooted.  The nerve!

14 Responses

  1. Beardwise, I could compete if I grew. But your stache is a thing all to itself. 🙂

  2. Diana Lee says:

    This is great! You made my day 😉 And a very nice review.

  3. I knew it was that damned Troy’s fault.
    Geez… I bet he was responsible for this, too:

    • Troy says:

      Thankfully, I have absolutely nothing to do with the man in the image you posted except that 99.999% of my genetic information is in common. 😉

  4. Indigo says:

    I go away for a few weeks and you join the hair club for chins *blinks*…Give it a few more months and you’ll be able to braid it sans Viking style (winks).

    Yada, I do owe you an email. The heat is kicking my ass and wiping the floor with it. When I finally manage a coherent thought you’ll get a visit from the email fairy. Then again it wouldn’t be so bad if I actually followed Dr’s orders. *Waggles brows* And since when did I ever listen?

    You look totally relaxed and in the summer zone. One question though doesn’t it itch with the heat? (Hugs)Indigo

  5. Elizabeth Arroyo says:

    I can’t wait to see it! Um, maybe you can lift your head up a little bit when you take the pic so I don’t get the chills when i look at your google pic. LOL.

  6. Laurita says:

    Well, if your chin isn’t bare, I guess something has to be. Damn Troy and his lack of forethought. That was a pretty kickass review, though. Perhaps he can be forgiven.

    • Laurita, I think I can forgive him for being so damn cool. In time. 😉

      E., My picture is *supposed* to give you the chills. What kind of horror writer would I be if it didn’t?

      Indy! You know I’m gong to have to braid it now, don’t you? I’ll keep my peepers peeled for that e-mail 🙂

      Cathy, from what I hear, yes, he is. :-p

      Diana, thanks so much. Glad to help tease out a smile.

      Troy, you rapscallion! I didn’t even think to mention the super-stache.

  7. Katey says:

    Epic beard–though I would beware of that chest hair alliance. Very dodgy, man.

    Yeah, that chapbook needs to be my next read. Didn’t even have it on my goodreads shelf! What WAS I thinking?

    • 🙂 I hope you enjoy it; let me know what you think.

  8. Philip L. Tite says:

    Wonderful review! Amazing beard! Delightful nose hairs! — Now if only I can figure out the existential connection to it all. 🙂

    • Thank you, sir. I grew it myself! ;-P

  9. Monique says:

    Dude, that thing on your face needs to come off… soon. o_O LOL

    • 🙁 But I love Mr. Fuzzy!

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