I watch a lot of horror movies. Smoosh that together with my hatred for long-winded reviews that explain the plot for five paragraphs before getting to the meat and potatoes of the review. What do you have?
The bite-sized horror movie review, wherein I spend no more than a paragraph telling you if a movie is worth watching or not. For my first review, I chose something I viewed about 1 year ago: Bitten.
I lovingly bestow onto Bitten, three out of five screaming monkey heads.
Three screaming monkey heads may be just a bit generous for this one, but what can I say, for all its flaws the movie manages to entertain. There’s really not much going on here. A paramedic, played by Jason Mewes (Jay of Jay and Silent Bob fame), finds a woman covered in blood in the alley near his house. Being a paramedic, he tries to help her. She turns out being a newly turned vampire, and his new girlfriend. The premise sets up a handful of funny situations, as well as gory situations. I didn’t find the gore over the top as it was mostly a lot of fake blood. Erica Cox (the vampire) manages to be in her underwear or naked for a large portion of the movie, which always helps when its a B-horror. All in all, if you’re a fan of Mewes, copious amounts of cursing, or b-horror, give this a watch.
Next time, I’ll review The Cook.
5 thoughts on “Bite-Sized Movie Review: Bitten”
“It was mostly a lot of fake blood” — see, that’s what I tell my friends when they sneer at my enjoying a good horror movie every now and then. Doesn’t seem to sway them.
Yeah, I think for most, blood is blood is blood. But when I watch horror movies, I tend to notice if blood seems “fake.”
Ha! Sounds like it might be Evil Dead kind of fun. Something just to watch for the kicks. Fake blood? That’s my new excuse when I don’t have any problem eating while watching a horror flick. (Hugs) Indy
I gotta start my list for Halloween. =)
Hmmm. Only three screaming monkey heads, eh? Well, I think I’ll give this one a pass then. I won’t watch anything less than three and a half heads (that half a head is rather gory to boot).
I like my horror on the atmospheric side, not so much with all the paint for blood. I do appreciate your brevity. Just right for a review, I think.
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