The Holiday Hop!

Did you know it’s December!?  I just tossed out my Jack-O-Lantern like two days ago.  And wasn’t Thanksgiving yesterday?  I swear I remember eating turkey last night.  Or hunting turkey.  Or pretending to be a turkey.  And now Santa is all up in my grill demanding to be acknowledged.  Well you know what?  I ain’t acknowledging shit until I get some damn hot chocolate and a bleepin’ candy cane!

Sorry.  No, no.  I’m sorry.  It’s apparent that I’ve got a case of the Christmas Grumps, and there’s only one way I know of the cure it.  First, a healthy dose of pine juice.  Mmmmm, sappy.  Next, a frolic through the Tinsel Forest–nude.  Lastly, a few reindeer games.

Okay, I’m feeling much better.  Now if the sky would just open up and give me snow, I’d be the happiest boy in Toyland.

I’m Tony by the way.  And if you’re new here, perhaps part of the Holiday Hop, you likely think I’m a wacko.  You might even be alerting the police as you read.  I’d ask you to please reconsider…if my mouth wasn’t full of reindeer meat.  (What’d you think I meant by reindeer games?)

Sorry.  No, no.  Really.  I’m really sorry this time.  Seriously.  And to make it up to you, I have a contest.  I’m giving away a Holiday Mystery Bag to a random winner.  All you have to do to enter is leave a comment telling me your favorite…uh…flavor snow man?  Also, be sure to leave some way of contacting you if you win (e-mail address, twitter handle, etc).

The great snow angel in the sky would also like me to mention that all the winners of the holiday hop contests will be entered to win the grand prize: A KINDLE FIRE!  Oh, hell yeah.

So, you know.  Enter.

If you’d like to follow my blog (Google friend connect), or my twitter page, or my newsletter, or friend me on Facebook, or stalk me at the supermarket while I’m trying to buy kumquats, go right ahead.  You don’t get bonus points or anything, but you just might find that you like reading my stories.

Speaking of which, there’s nothing to buy right now, but there are plenty of free published stories on my fiction page.  My first novel comes out in a few months too, so stick around.  You might even find you enjoy naked jogs through the Tinsel Forest too.  We have so much in common.  Let’s get married.
Happy Holidays!


***Now go back to the Holiday Hop page and click around the other great contests!***

94 thoughts on “The Holiday Hop!”

  1. Thanks for the chance. If its international enter me please. My um favorite flavour snowman (hehehe) is mint chocolate chip.

  2. I had Santa all up in my grill once. He didn’t even see it coming. He was way harder to get off than dragonflies though.

    I’ve never licked a snowman (I can’t believe I just said that), but a Guinness snowman would be good. Everything’s better with Guinness.

    Happy hopping.

    1. Ha! So my first thought here is the depraved horror thing: either the snowman is covered with blood, or you decided to hide body parts in each snowman segment. Then there’s the well…uh…the depraved *sexual* way to look at that statement. :-p

  3. Yeah, this no snow for Christmas is getting a little out of hand. Kind of hard for us Eastern folks to get in the mood without it.

    Ah right, favorite kind of snowman. How about a Peppermint Mocha Snowman. Why yes, I’m aware hot chocolate would melt the poor guy into all kinds of grotesque mish-mash…but he’d smell yummy and taste good in agony.

    So the elf shook things up huh? She’s kind of impish that way ;). (Hugs) Indy

      1. Ooh! So torture is the name of the game huh? Sure you want to enslave me in the kitchen I got a bit of cough, coughing (gives another fake cough for good measure) going on here? Might make sickos of us all. ;0

  4. Absolutely love your blog! Your wackiness is refreshing and original! I love it! I am sure that your book will be awesome too. I liked, friended, subscribed, and I’d stalk you but that is just too much right now ;0)How about we share a virtual cup of cocoa? *Lifts her cup* Cheers!

    1. Cheers! Thanks so much; I’m glad you like the site. I figure for every three readers I scare away, there’s one like you who can take a bit of joking around 🙂 *Sips cocoa.* Mmmm, needs more elf tears.

  5. Well if I get to flavor the snowman I’d take an Irish Coffee flavored one. I use whiskey, Bailey’s and a touch of coffee because well, I can! Oh and Tony you’ve got a bit of reindeer meat stuck in between your teeth. Use one of the ribs as a toothpick.


  6. Tony?! Really? Are you sure this really isn’t Reid, my husband? Sure sounds like him. So Reid…I mean Tony…you KNOW what kind of snowman I like…a dreamsicle. One I can lick and munnch on and…oh, what?! This really IS Tony?! Oh dear, so embarrassed. Um, will you still enter me in the giveaway? Um, leaving now…

  7. My favourite flavor snowman would be a Chocotini snowman….yumm!
    Great site.
    Happy hopping!
    My twitter is @last_lines
    – Kim
    Hopping from “Dragonfly Scrolls”

  8. Pina colada sounds good…think he’d mind holding one of those little umbrellas? Sets the mood, ya know. Might not feel right without it. Merry Christmas!

  9. Five top choices would be:
    Salted caramel macciato snowman
    Frozen margarita snowman
    Mango slushy snowman
    Candy cane snowman (ahem)
    Herradura soaked snowman

    You have the most fun contests 😉

  10. I know how you feel. We finally got our tree up and decorated today. We are not organized by any means.

    Favorite flavored snowman….I’m going with bubblegum. 🙂

  11. Love the wackiness/humor/prankster. Have to have a little bit of madness to write (at least in my own opinion) 😉 Hmm, my favorite flavor snowman would have to be Kahlua with whipped cream, caramel, and chocolate drizzled all over.

  12. OK, this was funny! I think my favorite would have to be the same as coffee! Peppermint Mocha!!! Two favorite things in lofe are reading with a coffee in my hand! I look forward to hearing more about your upcoming book and checking out the short stories as soon as I hit COMMENT! I am following via GFC!

  13. Hi, if this is an international giveaway i would love to be entered.

    My favorite flavor would be rasperry/strawberry

    i follow by email

    all the best


  14. So THIS is where all the Christmas spirit is! I should have stopped by sooner. My bad. =[

    Anyhow, my favorite flavor: white chocolate raspberry truffle, of course. With edible eyes.

  15. Joining the crowd (but dang it, I am NOT a follower, I am a LEADER…see what you’ve reduced me to? LOL) I’d have to say that IF I ever lick a snowman, my pick would have to be a Crown Royal (all the way baby!) snowman!
    Off to lick my wounds (and I WILL be soaked in Crown Royal) at becoming a follower lol
    Thanks for the giveaway!
    -Dawn aka dawnmomoffour

  16. Love your wackiness, so I ‘friended’ you everywhere!
    hmmm, my favorite flavored snowman you ask? Well, I’ll tell you. It would have to be the buttery nipple snowman. Yep, that would do it!

    Have a great day, I look forward to more wackiness, as well as reading your works. Congrats and good luck with that upcoming novel!

    mamaelk1113 at gmail dot com

  17. I’d have to go with Cookies and Cream. Mmmm, is it okay for another man to have a favorite flavored snowman?

  18. Since I live in Australia and it is hot right now having a snowman let alone a flavored one would be something of a miracle 🙂
    therefore I choose Ice flavor, which hopefully I will be able to eat before the snowman dies a very quick death.

  19. Tony, I’ll happily trade your snowman with a nutty banana blizzard from Dairy Queen. NO, I’m not nutty, just the blizzard… Please keep the snow on your side of the country. I’ve shoveled enough snow back home in Romania to last me this life time and the next ten as well. For the rest of this lifetime I’m backing nicely in the AZ sun 😉
    Happy Holidays!

  20. i had enough snow the day before halloween this year… if it were flavored with hazelnut i just might wish for more!! when i read this blog i didnt think you were weird….completely…..but alot like me, maybe “special”? hehe u speak my language fluently….Gutter!

    yankeedragon4 @ gmail .com

      1. ok, i promise im not a stalker! i just checked out the rest of ur blog and found out we have a bit in common…..both born the same year in ny…and we both live in NEPA…in fact, you live (saw u on facebook) 5 minutes from where i work…….again…not a stalker, just saw northeast pa and started pokin around 😛

        1. Ha, no worries, I think the whole computer age has redefined what stalking is. :-p That’s pretty cool that we are so close. Small world and all that jazz. 😀 Feel free to friend me on Facebook.

  21. My fave would be cherry, on a child-like snow person, but the grown up version is definitely a fine Chardonnay! And I’d slurp it…(funny how the most innocent of posts can sound downright dirty 😉

  22. I would like an Irish Cream flavored snowman, I think that would be yummy.

    GFC as seriousreader

    seriousreader at live dot com

  23. I love this thread!!! This is the first time I had to sit and read every single post and reply!!! I’m very excited, can you tell? Ok, I think I’d pick….the original flavor. What’s the original flavor, you ask? Well, if you don’t know, I’m not telling you, it’s a closely guarded secret.

    meghan_L_P at hotmail dot com

    1. Ha! Classic snowman. (I am just now realizing, based on some responses, that I was very un-PC by not calling it a snow “person.” But then, when’s the last time you saw one with boobs?)

      Glad you’re enjoying the thread!

  24. If I were going to eat a snow “man” I like cherry. It would definitely be a first. By the way, you are a f’cking riot. Love your sense of humorous. If you ever come to Southern Ohio, let me know. I wodn’t miss it for the world. I’ll pay for the alcohol… I have a feeling we will definitely need it. Merry Christmas.

  25. Mmm…frosty! With the right things, he can be the sweetest snowman! lol Id love a chocolate and strawberry flavored one. Yum! 😉 Just the right amount of sweetness with a burst! ;D I love your blog and your sense of humor. Im following. 😉 Hope you have a wonderful Christmas! Happy holidays!

  26. Well, the peppermint kind of course! Peppermint Schnapps. You know….a big swig for me, a little lick of the snowman….a big swig for………..oh, yea….me, a little lick of the snowman……a big swig for me……Hey, aren’t you gonna join me???

    Happy Holidays to all!!

    Thewildtwo {@} sbcglobal {DOT} net

  27. Does reindeer meat taste like deer meat or does it taste like Christmas?
    I’m thinking of a frozen hot chocolate with some peppermint schnapps 🙂


  28. I had two an Amaretto and a Tequila snowman in the front yard, but the Christmas Carolers got them. Though I must admit the Christmas carols got very loud, with really interesting lyrics after that.



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